Essay: On Kindness

It is year 2021. The 21st century. And there are people still being awful to each other, hating each other and hurting each other. Few people that know me in here will probably say that I’m a kind person. I try to be. So below is the take of a kind person on this freaked up world.

I like to think of myself as a kind person. Few people that know me might confirm, others might not. Because you know, I am still human and I know that people might not like me, either because of my actions, opinions or whatever else. And I really don’t care about that. But let me tell you a few things. I will explain the difference some kinds words can do on two different situations.


Kind response

It’s evening and you’ve just came home from work, school, whatever. You’ve left early in the morning, came late. There’s someone waiting for you, doesn’t really matter who it is. You put all of your things down, take of your shoes and plop yourself onto the couch hoping for some peace and quiet. The person, let’s say your friend, roommate, pours you wine or beer if you wish. Puts on some easy to watch movie and asks you:

“Hey, how was your day?”

You start your reply with “Shitty, don’t even ask.” The day was so bad that you don’t even wish to talk about it. We all had few of those days and we all know how much they just suck.

Your friend slightly smiles and says:

“Okay, whenever you want to talk, I’m here. But, I want you to know that even though your day was shitty, you are not. You’re a good person and tomorrow will be a better day.” For some reason, those three sentences make you smile and hug your friend with the other free hand.

“Thank you.” is the response you murmur and relax some more. The three sentences, the kind words, not even anything else, just the kindness shifted your mood and feeling about the day you just had from shitty to neutral, maybe slightly good. You continue to watch the movie, while your friend retreats to their room. Your mind races, but you fall asleep on the couch with just a slight hint of a smile.

Not kind response

It’s evening and you’ve just came home from work, school, whatever. You’ve left early in the morning, came late. There’s someone waiting for you, doesn’t really matter who it is. You put all of your things down, take of your shoes and plop yourself onto the couch hoping for some peace and quiet. The person, let’s say your friend, roommate, pours you wine or beer if you wish. Puts on some easy to watch movie and asks you:

“How was your day?”

You start your reply with “Shitty, don’t even ask.” The day was so bad that you don’t even wish to talk about it. We all had few of those days and we all know how much they just suck.

Your friend slightly smiles and says:

“Heh, it couldn’t have been that bad. My day was a total nightmare. My boss yelled at me and ya know. Gossip around the office was boring, just eh. Really. Awful. Talk to me. How was your day?”

“Look. I’m sorry that you had a bad day. Mine was bad too and I don’t wish to talk about it.” The few words that you’ve exchanged with your friend made you feel even worse than you had previously. You grabbed to glass and left to your room with a scowl on your face and the weight of the whole world on your shoulders feeling awful wishing you didn’t have to go to the office in couple of hours. Or that you wouldn’t have to live anymore, cause you can’t deal with people dying around you, people just feeling down, people hating each other and not being kind.


Conclusion

You might notice that the way how we react to everyday situations, we affect how other people around us feel. Why we should be kind then? I look at it this way. In our history, there was so much of hate, wars, murders, acts of violence that I don’t feel we should be like that anymore. Because if I can choose between making someone have a good day or a better day just because of how I treat them instead of making them feel like useless piece of poopoo, then I’ll take the first option.

I believe that all of us can say that we don’t ever wish death on someone (if you do, please, seek professional help). So if I can make you feel better, I will try my best to do that. By either saying kind words or doing something little extra. It costs me nothing and it makes the other person feel better.

I went through enough of deaths and funerals to experience how a death, suicide or anything else can mess up a close family and it’s members. The trauma is indescribable and I won’t ever wish it on even the worst of my enemies.

Don’t mistake kindness with weakness. One can be firm and kind. Violence should be our last option and that is also just in the situations when we absolutely have to use it. I don’t see the world through pink glasses and I understand that kindness isn’t the way to go in every single situation. But if we can use kindness and get the same or even better results, I wish and challenge you all to be rather kind than be assholes.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s