Essay: On Death

I know, I know. It is rather unpopular topic and nobody likes to talk about it or read about it. But, I promise you’ll enjoy reading this and maybe, I will even make you think.

In my life, my family has lost 8 members in about 7 years. 5 of them were member of my close family, the other, of extended. So with this being said, I know something about death and what comes with it.

by Sharon McCutcheon on unsplash.com

If you’re asking me whether I’m religious, I am not, although I believe in Something Greater Than Us, if you will. But I don’t think that there is an after life. Yet, if our opinions and beliefs clash, please, stay and read on.

And now to the point. Death doesn’t change anything for us. It’s meaningless. Let me explain.

From the biological point of view, our bodies rot in the ground (for most cultures, apologies to others). We’re flesh and bone and some liquids. That’s all. If we die, our bodies will change. Yes, they will go from living organism to dead organism. However, does that affect us? For centuries, philosophers tried to come up with the solution to the body-soul (consciousness/mind) issue.

Does the dead body affect the second part, the mind, soul, consciousness or anything else, if you will? The answer is yes and no. The yes answer lies in the belief that mind and body are bound together and when body dies, so does the mind. The no answer uses the belief of afterlife and therefore mind will not be affected, because it will still be alive.

But let’s take a closer look at another question. Does it matter that we are dead? And I think that it doesn’t. Because, if we believe in afterlife, our beliefs say that we will live after therefore dead is just a beginning to something else. What if we don’t believe? Well, in that case it doesn’t matter either. Why? Because we can’t do anything with it, not when we are alive neither when we’re dead. And why should something we cannot change matter? Let’s just embrace what we can change, our lives, and enjoy what we can enjoy.

Death is meaningless to us, because it doesn’t change a thing in our lives. It doesn’t matter. Why fear it then? Why say it’s something horrible when it’s nothing? I know, we lose people, they die and we cannot talk to them, hug them, laugh with them and we miss them. Yes, I know. Yet we cannot change it. We can’t bring people back. What we can do is to change the way we react to death, celebrate the person who died, remember them in the best possible way. We can use something that is carved in our minds as something horrible and make it a bit better. The sole meaning of death is not horrible. It’s the cirmustances, the way, the consequences, when a parent leaves children behind them, when a child dies… Yes, that’s horrible. But we can use it to power us, to push us forward and be better.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t grieve. Sadness and grief are natural and very strong emotions and if we don’t process correctly, it can catch up with us (speaking from experience). I’m saying we shouldn’t make excuses, we shouldn’t let ourselves go… No, we should remember that although life can be short, we are truly the creators of our own happiness.

And this comes after 10 years after losing my dad and our last conversation was a fight about something stupid. I’ve regretted that day so much… But I finally understand that it was wrong of me to blame either my dad or myself. After 10 years I’ve started to use that hate and fuel my peace with life. Because I would rather have calm but exciting life than being angry. But hey, it’s your decision.

Thank You for reading.

3 thoughts on “Essay: On Death

  1. Thank you for sharing your perspective. I work at a law office where we talk about death regularly so it’s not a taboo topic for me. Also, I do not consider myself to have a religion, but I do have a relationship with God.
    My heart hurts for you that your last memory with your dad was a fight. Neither one of you planned it that way and I’m sure both of you would change it, given the opportunity. As a parent… (if there is an afterlife) I know the last thing I’d want is for my child to feel sad over a mistake we made. That was one small moment among a much larger percentage of moments you shared together. I’d hope my child could try to put that one moment in perspective and know that the better moments should and could overshadow it. I’d tell my child to forgive themselves and live their best life, because I would have already forgiven them and I’d hope I was forgiven for that mistake as well. I sincerely wish you all the best on your journey! 💗

    Liked by 1 person

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